I know it's been forever since I posted. Christmas came and went (mostly went--I had to work) Lou Lou's b-day came and went (same thing--BOO to working). Life keeps chugging a long. I'm working FT for the benefits. Can't beat no deductible and $2k max out of pocket with my insurance picking up 90% of my bill.
Before I go any further let me tell you about my friend Amy. I have known Amy for like 25 years or so (oh my GOSH I'm old!!!) She is quite honestly the BEST person I know. Really she is. She is so smart (like Mensa smart I swear) and she is so spiritual and just so good. I really have no idea why she keeps me around as a friend--the heathen and apostate that I am. She is a Glenn Beck fan but I don't hold it against her. She is just one of those people you WISH you could hate because she is so good (like Molly Mormon only not annoying and suffocating)
On with the story---Amy has been in Utah for about a week and a half--maybe 2 weeks with her baby girl, Rissa. Rissa was at Primary Children's Medical Center (PCMC) where they discovered she had myocarditis caused by some stupid virus. I had been planning to go up and visit and take treats and goodies and cute hospital gowns for Rissa (and some SUPER cute loungey pants for Amy cause honestly--you need cute pants when you are in the hospital for any reason). Then I got a NASTY cold...like NASTY and didn't dare traipse up north. And then Saturday morning I got the saddest news I have ever had about a friend. My Amy lost her little girl Friday night.
Now, being the pregnant person that I am, my sadness is compounded. I called my parents to let them know (again--I've been friends with Amy for forever and her mom still lives 1 street over from my parents) and was bawling--like the bawling with snot gushy and tears and body shaking--it's oh so pretty--not at all like what you see in the movies. Lou Lou woke up in the midst of my meltdown and came and snuggled me on the couch...she just kept saying "isss aight mommy--don't be sad--isss ok" When I calmed down enough to talk, I told her that yes--mommy is sad but I will be ok. She heard me tell my parents that Rissa had died and in the way only a child can say "No mommy--she's not dead--she's jus retending...she wake up soon" Curse my lies as my child watches whatever show she saw where someone died (although it could have been Snow White or even Sleeping Beauty) Oh how my heart ached. How it hurt for my friend and her family. And how tightly I held my own little monster that morning. I found I had a little more patience with her and didn't scold nearly as much.
I finally worked up the nerve to call on Sunday to check on my friend. The first time I lucked out--she was showering. Yay--it gave me more time to find out what to say. The second time--no one answered. Double yay! They were probably at church or something. The third time was not so kind. I managed to hold myself together for like 7 minutes. Which if you know me--that is like a feat worthy of world record status. Then I lost it...And my dear friend was still so composed. So together. Remember how spiritual I said she was?? I wasn't kidding. I told her what Lou Lou said and Amy ever so gently and kindly reminded me that Rissa, is indeed sleeping because we believe that our families ARE forever and Amy will see her again. Oh my wise kind friend. I so want to be like her when I grow up. I know myself--I'd be in the fetal position on the floor in the bathroom for days, weeks, maybe months if I went through what she did.
I know Amy will get around to me someday...when she can. She is busy with her own little corner of the world right now--grieving her daughter and rebuilding her life. And dear Amy--when you find a minute--Please know how much I love you...and know that I think you are AMAZING. And I want to be like you when I grow up. You will always be in my prayers and I'm grateful for our friendship. And I'm hunting down "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" on DVD just for you. Because really--Benjamin IS the hottest. Well--Frank is cute too....
